There's nothing like putting your only kid on an airplane too early on Mother's Day to start the supposed special day off badly, and then trying to find a place open for breakfast. So the DH and Mmmmm did the coffee thing at Seattle's Best and decided to try our no-reservations-luck at one of our favorite restaurants, an Asian fusion bistroish cafe on 4th.

The enterprising folks there had their youngest posted outside at a long table groaning with cut flowers and potted plants for Mom. We entered the restaurant filled with families feting Mom and were seated within three minutes in a booth, no less. Yay! Got menus, water. Passed on the coffee. Then the hell began. Maybe fifteen minutes later we ordered. Usually service is fairly good and the food yummy. But not today. Oh my. If Gordon Ramsey had been running the "pass" (a la Hell's Kitchen), jesusmarimba, the kitchen staff would have been reduced to sobbing sushi long before we arrived.

I've watched enough of that show and Top Chef to be familiar with how a commercial kitchen is supposed to work--or Hollywood's idea of it, anyway. So, I began to entertain my bored mother self by observing the kitchen and the wait staff. Lots of orders going in, nothing coming out. Lots of hungry people coming in, no one leaving--probably because no one was getting any food. You know how Ramsey is always yelling about the importance of the donkeys communicating in the kitchen? Well, Hell*s Grill on 4th employs mimes, I think. I didn't see or hear anyone saying anything. The three chefs spent a lot of time silently frowning up at what I presume was a line of order tickets strung across the inside of the pass window. They didn't talk or confer with one another as one, two or even all three would go stone still gazing into heaven.

Apparently, the owners had prevailed upon the whole family to work in the restaurant on this busy day. Tables did get bussed, but that's again due to the fact that while we were there few diners left. If you ordered coffee, you had to take micro sips because you weren't getting refills, even if you eventually got the first cup. Same with the water. We actually waited for our breakfast over an hour. No kidding. And I think it's because we like this place and the people. We were cutting them big slack. BUT when my eggs benedict, which they do very nicely, came out cold and greasy with the sauce watery from undrained poached eggs, my slack-cutting was done. We'd never been offered more water or asked how things were after the dishes were slapped on the table. After we waited even longer for the check, our usual waitress said nothing but gave us the most pathetic, harried look as she slid the check on the table and slipped away to stare longingly into the hellish kitchen that was serving up big portions of slooooooow and cold that would tickle the Slowskys senseless.

You have to hand it to American mothers and their families. All in all, we're a polite, kind lot. No one in the restaurant threw an ugly or even complained, and boy, did we have just cause. We simply waited. Visited with our families and friends. Learned to make a cup of coffee or water last for an hour and looked forward to getting the hell out of the Grill on 4th. And the rest of my Mother's Day was magnificent in comparison. So, it's all good.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM