Hi ho, MMMLogerinos!

Yeah, okay, I really don't rant much. I don't. But I've gotta tell you I'm hacked at Dancing with the Stars ABC show, now down to the "finals", thank God. Yes, I know these reality shows are cast and scripted like any soap opera, but jeeeeeez, this one really got to me last night.

This rant started building weeks ago with the judges. Hijola, where do they get those people? The Brit geezer comes across as a senior citizens' dance teacher in Manchester. I, who have a pretty good ear for accents, thought the Italian guy was French and that explained him. But it's the twit on the end, Carrion Enabler or something, that really makes me get up out of my pram. I saw a bit on the TV Guide channel on the reality shows that more than suggested Carrion had some choreography but no actual dance experience, ballroom or otherwise, except for good time on a pole in whatever club. Fits and explains a lot.

My favorite "star", also whom I'd never heard of, is wrestler Stacy of the long, long legs. That girl has had dance training prior to her wrestling gig and has translated her skills to the ballroom dancing competition very effectively. She's the best dancer, no question. However, Carrion, who isn't the best anything, has decided that Stacy needs to "take chances" in her dancing, while the ex-football star, Jerry, is awarded scores that do not reflect the stiff lumbering about the floor while his professional dance/aerobatics, yes aerobatics, partner does great work. Makes one long for P. Miller. At least he had no illusions that he could dance. Jerry's a nice guy and America thinks so, too, but he's not a dancer and shouldn't be awarded a higher score for a kitschy Shaftesque freestyle while Stacy gets whacked for a flawless disco number that wasn't "chancy" enough.

And Drew? Yeah, he's a hardworking little guy who can get the job done when he keeps his frame and his shoulders down. He's fun to watch and his professional partner is great. He's the best male dancer to come along in this Dancing Stars thing.

But back to Stacy. It wasn't lost on me that she and her partner were missing from the backstage shot at the end of last night's show. If she was half as pissed as I was, even though I know it's a set piece designed to manipulate and herd the audience in a particular direction, Stacy's got to be plotting Carrion's painful demise. Maybe Carrion will catch a folding chair in the head, or get body slammed to Cleveland. Perhaps that'd be chancy enough for her.

So, really, the writers have done a superb job, haven't they. They've got this writer all riled up with a reality show that is as much fiction as anything I write. I hate to admit that I actually voted for Stacy last night--as many times as the system would let me.

Well done, guys. You got me.

Ciao, ciao, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMmelinda